What Nigerian Men Want – The Paradox

A friend sent me an email in response to my post Things I Don’t Want to Hear at 30 here. Even though it’s more of him musing about what he wants or doesn’t want in a wife, I thought it was interesting. So, I decided to post it here (with his permission of course).

The email

“So I'm thinking of getting married, settling down, and embracing the old ball and chain. Naturally, I have asked myself what I want in a woman. Or for that matter why any man should marry? 
 The paradox and oxymoron that describes what men want:
   - A banker who will be home by four and get dinner done 
   - A housewife that can pay the bills 
   - Sexy and homely  
 But what do I want in a woman?  
Would I prefer a cleaner and cook, or do I want intelligent conversations and humour? Do I need her to be passionate or homely?
As much as I'd like a woman to start with me in my current state (civil service salary, and yes I can hear you hissing and walking away fast), truth is do I really want a woman that will tolerate my poverty? Or do I want a woman that will challenge and inspire me to a prosperous future? Do I want her to be subservient or do I want partner?  
As much as I'm not sure what I want, I find that it's easier to recognize what I don't want. A wife for me is a cocktail. The mix.  
The dynamics of career, marriage and home keeping are way different from what it was in daddy's day. Marriage the way I see it, is a partnership for growth. I want a beautiful woman who is compassionate (especially towards me), a woman to grow and evolve with.
In other words, I have no freaking idea what I want.

Deep eh? I’d like more opinions on the subject. Possibly publish some of the noteworthy responses that I get. Men, ladies, what do you want in a relationship?
1 comment on "What Nigerian Men Want – The Paradox"
  1. Marriage is a unique partnership that can go either North towards progress, or South real quick...it is all determined by how constructive and mature the parties involved are in their expectations and observance /acceptance of their own human follies and limitations, laced with a very healthy dose of reality, honesty and ability to forgive and love each other

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