Things I don’t Want to Hear Now That I’m 30




I recently turned 30. The big 3.0. You know what that means. Female. 30. Unmarried. Cue in the concerned citizens and members of the marriage and procreation society. Armed with their unsolicited remarks and advice. 

I’ve highlighted two of my "favourites."

When are we going to "drink wine on top" your head? The marriage question. My mates are getting married. So, what am I waiting for? Because my worth in life is measured by someone tying a string to my finger.

“When will you marry? This year. Next year. Sometime or never. January. February…

If you attended primary school in Nigeria, you probably know that rhyme from a playground game. I don’t remember the actual game but the song stuck in my head. Such a portentous rhyme. Telling of what was expected in the future. I didn’t see the boys playing this game though. Or did they?

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. I don’t understand the rush. I’m not clamouring for it. It’s not a prayer point either. But when I finally decide to accept a string on my finger, I’ll do the needful. I’ll ensure that the town crier makes an announcement so everyone can come "drink wine on top" my head. For now, I’d really like to live.

Your biological clock is ticking. When I hear this, I imagine myself as a walking, baby dispenser with a battery that is almost running out. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The concerned citizens have been reminding me that my body has a reproductive time limit. In case I forgot.

I wonder. Do these biological timekeepers ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, not all women are maternal? Or is it too shocking to think that some women are perfectly ok going through life without children? I know a few.

What about those women who want the pleasure of procreating but cannot? How should they feel knowing that their worth as women is in their ability to reproduce?

Look around. There are so many children suffering because they were brought into this world just to fulfill all righteousness. Let my biological clock tick. There is no shortage of children that require love.

We’re too presumptuous to think that every woman (or man) wants the same things in life. Marriage. Children.

Let’s just live and let others live.


6 comments on "Things I don’t Want to Hear Now That I’m 30"
  1. abi live and let live, GOD'S TIME is the time

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  2. I like the thinking pattern here girl it ain't easy thinking civil in this subsaharan terrain of custom ridden flesh-creatures, I ain't ever seen no girl get a Nobel prize on account of being married...it will happen in due time if necessary.

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  3. Hmm, lets do this the pigeon mix mash way, abeg wetin be all dis talk sef about marriage, de ting too much oh! home folks get as dem dey open mouth, wey dey worry unmarried men and women at times, sotay dem dey run from home visits.De marriage wey our fore fathers and mothers bin get into no be wetin dey nowadays, becos time don fly to the digital period oh! gone are de old ways of arrangie marriage yet our present elders no dey gree move forward.
    A lot of people dey for unhappy union, but becos dem no wan disgrace dem selves dem just dey there dey suffer, others follow money sotay dem dey perch on top gold branch wid no egg for nest becos de other person dey play away. de back ward belief say when woman pass 30 im done old dey plague our country people till date. dis na cultural challenge wey we wey go be elders tomorrow supposed fight to bring education and enlightenment to our various peoples in de village.

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    Replies
    1. Your comment made me laugh. Your pidgin eh! Abeg Elder Emeka, follow me tell una people o. Make dem free single people abeg.

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  4. This is very interesting. I found you through Nedoux and I must say I'm glad I did. Marriage is a priority to some and it's not to others. It is better for one to do things at their pace rather than falling to pressure from family and friends.

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  5. I forgot to add too... Happy Birthday in arrears.

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